


Surviving Babysitter Roulette

by Titans_R_Us



Series: The Adventures of Frisk and her Angry Sidekick Flowey [3]
Category: Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-04-14
Updated: 2016-04-14
Packaged: 2018-06-02 04:21:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 588
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6550660
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Titans_R_Us/pseuds/Titans_R_Us
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>There is a list.</p>
<p>An honest to goodness list that Toriel created of those allowed to watch Flowey while you and Toriel are at school. It's based on the amount of property damage and mental abuse that ensues with each poor soul you managed to "persuade" to do it. Your puppy eyes have no equal. Though to be fair Papyrus does come close. </p>
<p>The list is very short.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Surviving Babysitter Roulette

There is a list.

An honest to goodness list that Toriel created of those allowed to watch Flowey while you and Toriel are at school. It's based on the amount of property damage and mental abuse that ensues with each poor soul you managed to _"persuade"_ to do it. Your puppy eyes have no equal. Though to be fair Papyrus does come close. 

The list is **very** short.

You've tried almost everyone you know, but the moment Toriel steps through the door to assess the caretaker's result...well there's a reason why it's her that decides whose on the list. 

You don't quite know what goes on when you're away, but you hope that you'll stop having to move soon. The house is on fire... _again_. 

They really have to cross out Undyne's name. 

 

* * *

 

It's not EVEN HER FAULT, it's the WEAK APPLIANCES that TORIEL surrounds herself with.

 Undyne has LEARNED that for the best cooking you need the STRONGEST MATERIALS. Even ALPHYS has learned and at home she's made sure they only have the MOST FIREPROOF, WATERPROOF, STAB-RESISTANT environment possible. Alphys understands how PASSIONATE Undyne can be. 

So it's NOT HER FAULT that Toriel has such an INADEQUATE kitchen.  

She was only trying to feed that stupid flower. The one that talks too much and THAT LITTLE "IT" LOVES TO PISS HER OFF. Undyne misses swearing, but she has already lost 50 gold to Toriel's ACCURSED swear jar. Frisk is definitely old enough to hear some "adult" language. Toriel disagrees and Undyne never knew how COLD a disappointing stare could be. But then again no one in the kingdom doubts who wears the **pants** in the monarchy. 

Undyne had tried to just water the plant, but the THING only hissed and it's in a pot HOW COULD IT DODGE? 

But Undyne had promised Frisk that she would take care of Flowey and she NEVER does anything HALF...BAKED! 

Flowey rather likes this cooking style. 

 He didn't expect that his reasonable griping would yield such a delicious outcome. He had been skeptical when Undyne put him on the counter demanding that if he wants GOOD food then they'll have to MAKE it. 

Smashing vegetables has never been so cathartic. 

The stains spattered on the wall reach up to the ceiling in lovely hues of red, purple, green and grainy pink. Undyne is trying to branch out by putting meat and other HEALTHY things in her pasta.  The counter is unfortunately destroyed though. 

Much later, Flowey does admit to a hovering disappointed-you-should've-known-better Frisk that things escalated a bit. 

 

**"STIR HARDER, YOU PATHETIC EXCUSE OF A FISH!"**

**_"I AM, YOU STUPID DANDELION! WHY DON'T YOU TAKE OVER?"_**

**"I DON'T HAVE HANDS, IDIOT!"**

**_"THAT'S NO EXCUSE!"_ **

 

Yet, Flowey restates that he should have been apart of the decision to choose their abode. HE would have NEVER picked a kitchen with gas burners. 

 

**"SHOULD WE TURN IT HIGHER?"**

**_"YEAH!"_ **

**"HOTTER?"**

**_"LET IT BURN, BABY!"_ **

 

Flowey and Undyne still think that the pasta would have been exquisite if they managed to get it out of the burning building in time. They had rushed to throw most of Frisk's and Toriel's belongings out on the lawn when the kitchen had become _"unrecoverable."_ Because most of the stuff-stuff is barely smoked damaged, Undyne declares that this was her best cooking session yet! 

Alphys apologizes to Toriel over and over. 

"No. No, it's all right Alphys. I should have known. **_I should have known_** _."_

After all, Flowey is not the only one who needs a caretaker.

 

**Author's Note:**

> Writing Undyne is very fun and very loud. I'm sorry. I've had this in my files for forever. But I can't get the next part going. Eventually I'd like to do all the characters and next up is Sans and Papyrus. But San is being a jerk. He doesn't want to be written. What a fruitcake. Hope you enjoy the fic!


End file.
